WIDE EYES

At some point in our awakening, we realize that what we see with our eyes is only a fraction of the truth. That the Whole exists beyond and behind the visible, that the invisible may be even more powerful than the image before us, and that when we look beyond form altogether we may witness the beauty in everything, everyone, every moment.  Look in a new way, through a camera, into a mirror, from behind closed lids, and discover the unseen. Listen in a new way, beyond language, beyond expectation, and be amazed at what has never before been heard.


The following transmission is a communication from twin infant girls and a new big brother to their mother. They speak joyfully to her, of what she might otherwise have not been able to see…


WIDE EYES    June 10 09


from one twin…

Hallo Mama
and isn’t it wonderful
to be together
isn’t it just wonderful
that we can talk too?


I have so much to say
and I think you will find
it will always be that way
because I look at the world
as an opportunity
the kind of place
that is so full of colours
tastes
sounds
experiences
and all of them are there
for my pleasure
I am made of them
and they are all
reflections of me


Now don’t be scared
because I am strong
It is not
that I am overpowering
but rather
that there is a much-ness
to me
a richness
like a princess who wears many gowns
one is not enough
for there are days for silk
days for brocade
days for velvet and lace
and so they must all
be known in one life
each one
must find its place


For some
strength is born
out of simplicity
they know one note
and sing it loud
For me
one would never be enough
I am a necklace of many stones
each one adding to the beauty of the last
and it is my depth
that creates my passion
and my eye for detail
that grants me an awareness
of joy


So if you were to paint me
I would have layers
I would have jewel tones
I would have intricacy
and our time together
will be about you giving yourself permission
to enjoy this aspect of me
and not to see it as daunting
for it is never my intention
to see anyone as lacking
but rather to find all possibilities
everywhere
and so I just want others
to see it too
to open their eyes
and catch up to me


So yes
I will keep you busy
and you will very quickly discover
that my sister and I may be alike
in some ways
but each of us
has our own song
our own story
very clearly to tell
and this will surprise you
as we grow
because it would be simpler
to let us be a pair
in every way
but there will be many surprises
and these are meant to be moments
of light
and no worry
no stress
because it is all
good


You will in fact
see yourself in me
the wild one
the artist
you have longed to let loose
and it will be different
to see your child explore
this theme
for you will feel wishful
and you will feel fear
wanting safety for me
when I want only freedom
open sky
and grass beneath my feet


But oh
what we will bring to one another
as I fill your world with colour
and you ground me
with balance
and we both learn to love
every moment
for all that it is


I am the mosaic
I gather the tiles
the bright bits of glass
and you are the craftswoman
who sees the shape
of what is to come
as we make the picture together
and then smile at one another
saying
look
what we have done
look what we have learned
to see


from another twin…


And here
dear Mother
you will find a gentle wind
a softer word
a graceful hand
and yet beneath it all
the same strength
the same determination
the same artistry even
but with an expression
that is cleaner
simpler
much easier
to understand


You and I will connect
with an ease
that brings quick joy
because my softness
is the side of you
you have shown to the world
My sister
will call you to admit
to other, more complex selves
but I will simply say
Mama
there is no greater joy
than the taste of a berry
upon the tongue!


And between us you will find
the temptation will arise
that whatever each of us reveals
you will wonder
if you have been lax
in drawing it out
in the other
for shouldn’t we have
all the same opportunities
and gifts
from which to choose?


And in this response
you are given a chance to see
that you lack nothing
you need do nothing
except love
that which you do so well
and let all the rest unfold
naturally
and individually
so that you can only smile
when one of us
takes a stand


For beneath our differences
we have such love
such a passionate love
for one another
and therefore for the world
that it will at times
seem to block out all else
as we become
our own universe
in the oneness
that others only dream about
sometimes


And who would not feel
outside of this
who would not wonder
at the sight of it
but we must remind you
to take our passion
as yet another gift
beyond judgement
beyond control
beyond anything
but love


And so you will see yourself
in me
in ways that are perhaps unsettling
for I am new to the world
and so even in my gentleness
I leap
to places you have only just begun
to consider as safe
I will carry your graceful ways
but on the breath of a new wind
and you will marvel
and you will weep
that you did not know such joys
in your own time


But mother of mine
there is no time here
No ahead or behind
but only freedom
and you have lived so long
waiting for your own freedom to come
that you cannot imagine
travelling as far as I will go
and yet
your journey is perfect
and it is perfect
that you brought us to you
to share your world


Your sensibilities
your artistry
is part of what makes me feel safe
in your arms
our home
I feel that you understand me
and your acceptance of my nature
is what will allow me to grow
beyond your own
wildest dreams
so take your focus away
from what you believe you have not
or will not do
and turn your gaze instead
toward the astonishing union
we find
by crying the same tears
howling the same laugh
watching the same world
through eyes wide
with both apprehension
and desire


I will be your playmate
your soul mate
your friend
and I will teach you
about all that you are
and most especially
all that you have denied
so you will have the chance
to come and be born with us
once more
in your own way



 from big brother …


Mama
don’t you think
that the wonderful thing
about a mother having a son
is the otherness
of him?
And I am truly
your other
round where you are angular
loud where you are soft
rolly polly
where you have your feet
flat on the ground
And this is my gift to you
this abundant energy and joy
is a daily reminder
that with the right energy
and belief
every day is new
every task possible
and every lesson a game
if we choose to make it so


Now I do like to play
I like to make everything
into play
because it is the way my aliveness
expresses itself
and so you know
that if I am not playing
I am either tired
or not well
and this very enthusiasm
can make you tired
especially when you have other things
to attend to
besides me
and my desire to play


And so we find ourselves
in that familiar place
where you are learning about
the importance of play
not just for me
but for you
and I am learning about
the importance of being myself
even on my own
even if there is no one right beside me
saying
I will play too


Because truly
I would like the whole world
to play with me
if I could
I would gather up every person
dog and cat
and put them into one room
and we would all just jump up and down
and hit balloons
and splash water
and holler at the top of our lungs
and everyone would forget about money
and appointments
and food
and war
and we’d make a big mess
and be much happier
at the end of it all


And you may think
this is just my idea now
because I am small
but you wait
and you will see
that this belief
this willingness to share joy
and be joy
all the time
is my greatest gift
and it will be
what I bring to the world
in many ways
over and over again


So understand
that the patience you show me now
is teaching me that I am okay
and the way you smile at me
with the light of the sun in your eyes
is teaching me
that I am worth it all
and more
and really there isn’t much else
that I need
to feel loved


Which means that when I do get tired
or lonely
because the whole world isn‘t in my room
ready to play
that you need to remember
that it isn’t about you
you havn’t been a bad mama
or a weak person
you haven’t let me
or my sisters down
or anyone else you love


It’s very good practice for you
to just let me say what I need to
when I’m not in joy
because that’s what allows
the joy to return
And when you need time
or quiet
you have to practice saying so
and not worrying about
what others think
because when you do that
remember
you’re showing us that we have the right
too
that saying what we need
is a loving thing too
not just giving
your time
and your energy
away


I promise
I will never stop bouncing
and smiling
and loving you
I will never stop making noise
and just being a boy
But I will find ways to put that energy
to very good use
and you will love what I do with it
just the way
you love me


Most of all
I can see from my wisest Self
that it is really
really
important for you
to stop each day
and breathe in with thanks
because you are living
so much beauty
so many amazing things
every single day
it is too easy to keep your head down
and focused on the work
and doing the good job
you want to do


This isn’t a job Mama
this is gift
after gift
after gift
and every time you stop to remind yourself
of that
you will fill up with the same joy
I bounce around with
and all your tiredness
will go away


You deserve the same joy I feel
and it is what
we are here
to bring to you
Just open your eyes
as big as mine
and you will see

WIDE EYES is from the collected transmissions of Cynthia Long
painting and photos by Cynthia Long
http://www.cynthialong.ca
Advertisements

A STALLION’S SON

We live in a time that calls, cries, wails… for the touch of a mother’s hand. The balance of life upon our Earth has been upturned, and as she rolls through her bed of stars, she readies herself for new times. For so long, the way of the warrior has been all we have known, and yet now we are asked to remember our true birth, to return to the inclusive, accepting, graceful embrace of our Mother’s arms. On our way to this place, the Feminine watches her men, her fathers, her sons, her lovers as they struggle with their fight to the death, the ancient battle with fear that has led them to pass on pain as a masculine legacy from generation to generation. Can we trust that even this conflict has its purpose? Can we trust that even war brings us toward peace, that even rage teaches us of love? 

Once upon a time
there was a horse
dark and strong
wild
he ran with the herd
never stopping
leading the flood
of dropping hooves
whole fields
of rolling thunder
their being was the chase
to and from
Their being
was freedom

And the horse
was a part of the grazing
he was a part of the
sleeping herd
and he mounted the mares
each in turn
and watched them
grow heavy with
his young

One pale morning
a foal was born
steaming wet
with eyes
huge as hooded moons
and soon the little one
stood shaking
and the horse
the stallion
stood away watching
and losing
his heart

Each day
the mare
nuzzled over her young
guiding him lovingly
and when mother and son
ran together
they cantered leg upon leg
the rhythm of the earth
they galloped
as one

The stallion screeched
his jealousy
his longing
for his son
He grew impatient
white of the eye
mane tangle
and a nostril carved
at the sight
of their oneness

Was it not he
who reared upon her back
Did not the child
also bear the phallus
Did they not
deserve to be
mirrors to one another
in the galloping times?

The sun rose
and every night
it set
The wild grass grew
and then each year
turned to seed
for new meadows
The flocks of birds rose
like windblown sheets
of wings and voices
into the sky
flapped and flapped
until they were gone
until tomorrow

The rain came
and pelted their hides
shining ink strokes                                                           
dripping to the thirsty soil
and the foal grew
to a fine colt
to a strong young horse
and he turned
in the run
just as his mother turned
and he stopped to feed
as she stopped
But one day
a new calm
was in the air
and the stallion pulled his lips
set his teeth
and called
one hoof describing
his lust
upon the ground

And his son
tail suddenly raised
heard the call
and in just a moment
only a moment
after so many seasons
of being her shadow
the male child
left his mother’s side

The Chinook came
the herd rose
as one
the time was
for moving on
And the stallion led
as he had always done
and his son
now swift as the father
turned as the stallion turned
slowed as the stallion slowed
and followed
his every
path

And the herd knew it was so
and they smiled                                                           
for thunder
likes thunder
and at last
the two fires raged
as twins
and the mare grieved
in her empty belly
but only for a time
She knew
that the emptiness
was now the way

The sun rose
and the sun set
and the wild grasses
grew and died
and then came
the day when
the son
sought the mares
for his own

And the father turned
turned
upon his own son
reared tall
on massive legs
and they fought
blood of his own blood
freed upon the dust
and the mares rolled
the fear of their eyes
as shrieks rang out
over the plain

And the son
the young horse
the growing colt
the helpless foal
was driven out
of his father’s world
to find a place
in his own
and he ran one path
the herd ran the other
and his mother saw him                                      
huge against the sky                                                                    
as the stallion turned
and then saw him
no more

The herd went on
for it was the way
and whose love,
asks the heart,
whose
was the greatest
or did love prove
finally
false?

The god of the horse
laughs
only watch the story
each day
and love will be found
over and over
not just in the mounting
the birthing
the thunder
but in the battle
the turning
the stealing away

None is greater
None is less
There is honour
to be found
in unsuspecting places
and this
the herd
must know…



“A Stallion’s Son” from the early poems of Cynthia Long
photo by Mark Goldstein

NOTHING YOU CONFESS





“…Nothing you confess
Could make me love you less…”

If there is one thing for which we all long, it is this: to be loved without qualification, to be accepted in our earthly failings, as much as our unearthly light, to be loved, in essence, the very way we cannot yet love ourselves. This then is how the quest for such a love becomes our teacher, and how we learn from our longing just what is missing from our own hearts.

I have loved often. I have loved deeply. I love now, in more ways than I can describe. But only recently have I loved without doubt, without desire as the voice of need, without loss as an eternal backdrop for hope. It comes to me now, this even love, like an old friend in an unrecognizable face, for I cannot remember this feeling of accepting that whatever lies before me, it is always love. 


Even when I am alone, I am in love. Even when I seem abandoned, I am in love. Even when I fail myself by believing that I have failed others, I am in love. And so what is left to fear? I am with the same company, breathe the same air, no matter what my path, how far I walk or how I am received when I arrive.

And so for the first time I see that I am loved as I love. I am whole no matter how fractionated my world appears. And what relief is this, to realize that I cannot be harmed because… 

The demons we fear
are only
of our own making
and when it seems difficult
to love
it is always
our own permission for joy
that we deny..

When I look at you, you are so beautiful, even, especially in your humanity. As I accept the deepest secrets of my own soul, there is less and less that is shameful in the acts of others. I know them, I know you, because I know myself. Namaste: the light within me honours the light within you. Salaam, Shalom: Peace between Man and God, between me and you. Tall and ancient words. 

“Oh.. why do you look so sad
Tears are in your eyes
Come on and come to me now
Don’t be ashamed to cry
Let me see you through
‘Cause I’ve seen the dark side too
When the night falls on you
You don’t know what to do
Nothing you confess
Could make me love you less…”

 Chrissy Hynde, of the Pretenders, with Tom Kelly and Billy Steinberg