AMY WINEHOUSE

Dear Adi
I suppose the death of Amy Winehouse is sad, but I expected it. Didn’t she bring it on herself with her addiction issues? 
– Not Surprised
Dear Not Surprised,
“All mankind is of one author, and is one volume; when one man dies, one chapter is not torn out of the book, but translated into a better language; and every chapter must be so translated… As therefore the bell that rings to a sermon, calls not upon the preacher only, but upon the congregation to come: so this bell calls us all: but how much more me, who am brought so near the door by this sickness…. No man is an island, entire of itself… any man’s death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind; and therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for thee.” John Donne (1572-1631)
The above quotation is a familiar one to many
and often it is thought to mean
that we do not live in isolation
but it goes much deeper than this truth
We humans are the many points of light
that come together to create the living fractal
and so not only do we not know a solitary existence because our hearts
yearn for connection
we literally cannot separate ourselves from our fellow travellers
even if we try
for each one of us exists
as a point of reference for the self examination
of the other
and this is both the great gift
and greatest challenge
The “artist” knows this
for the act of creating visual art, theatre
music, poetry, dance
these very gestures exist as forms of communication between souls
expressions of what one feels
which may then resonate with what another receives
We are moved by the offerings of an artist
because they remind us of ourselves
and make this reminder beautiful or powerful to behold
The “addict” is one who reaches toward bliss
with such a passionate desire
that it eclipses other concerns
and it is often the star child
the pure heart
who remembers this divine sensation most clearly
and so in the struggle to face the pain
of this base material realm
it can be the most sensitive souls
the most truthful and creative beings
who most deeply lose their way
This sight is frightening to those
who have found their own style of coping
by keeping tight reins of control
and they dare not feel compassion
they dare not tell the truth to themselves
that there
in the grace of God
go I
and so instead
they claim self-righteousness
as a flag
and they plant it into the hearts of 
anyone
who will listen 
in the hope
that the louder they speak
the better chance there is
of drowning out
their own inner voices 
the ones that whisper
of hypocrisy and fear
Know that
there is no Judgement Day
but there will come a day
when judgement will end
and this will be achieved
through the courage of those who dare to live
outside the structures of society
who dare to risk loss of reputation and censure
with the rising awareness
that all that matters is the truth
compassion
and freedom
and within these tenets will be found
the perfect bliss of human vulnerability
without risk
and without shame
To the artists
the addicts
the rebels
and the activists
To the lovers and free thinkers
the risk takers who publicly fail
To those labeled by psychiatrists
shunned by moralists
policed by ignorance
and governed by a hunger for personal power
To the untold numbers who live each day
incarcerated as a result of unconsciousness and fear
and to the many who choose to leave
when this world becomes too great to bear…
You are loved
you are understood
and your passion is valued without measure
for there is nothing but beauty in each heart
when seen through the eyes
of divine Love
Let us each look upon one another
as reflection only
each of us
one of the many pieces of the great Self
that is learning to trust
and let us dare to tell the whole truth
about ourselves first
before ever we utter a word of blame 
toward another
In this way the kingdom of bliss will be found
even here
upon this plane of unutterable beauty
and indescribable pain
It is why
we are here.
love,
Adi
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THE SELF LOVE WITHIN LOVE

Dear Adi
Why is it so hard for me to accept and forgive my husband, and how do I open my heart completely to fully give and receive love and create true partnership in our relationship?
Lovelorn
Dear Lovelorn,
Every relationship gives what it is meant to
and every perceived lack
is the reflection of a desired joy
Every uncomfortable moment
is rich with the opportunity
to rise from falseness into truth
and every attachment
contains the seed of freedom
in its grasp
Dear child
the answer to your question
is in many ways a simple one
as we bring you back
again and again
to your own sense of self and deserving
This is illustrated in the way you turn your attention
toward your partner
over and over
seeking ways to connect
ways to forgive
ways to regain what has been lost
ways to join in a union you believe your children would like to see
This is akin to the servant
who apologizes for her ill health to her master
because it makes her
unable to serve
Yes you have come to a place of emptiness
and yes
your wishes seem lost
but they will not be found
and your heart will not be filled
by turning your attention to another
at this time
for it is your own heart
your own longing
your own beliefs of unworthiness
that are playing out all around you
and creating the dynamic you now experience
with your husband
He is a man like any other
with his strengths and weaknesses
a desire to love
and yet a lack of readiness to truly give
of himself
These are aspects of his own journey
and while you are indeed in a partnership
in many ways his unresponsiveness
has nothing to do with you
It is not about you
not caused by you
and yet is a mirror to you
for he cannot help but relate to the energy you hold
defined by the way
you relate to your Self
In practical terms this means
that every step you take toward self love
will crack the patterning
and shift the habits that perpetuate your unhappiness
Every step you take toward accessing your own deserving
will release the pressure he feels
to be the one who loves you enough
The reason you cannot forgive him
is because you hold a buried resentment
anger that he does not give you
what you are unable to give yourself
This is a very stuck place
like being in a closet with no air
and no door handle
because you are waiting
waiting, waiting
for him to release you from the outside
when in truth
there is no latch
no one putting pressure from beyond
Instead
you are as free as you choose
to simply push the door wide
and step free
but this can only happen
once you take your attention away
from what you perceive as his denial of you
and reclaim the permission
to be happy
not even just happy but joyful
because of who you are in and of yourself
who you are apart from any relationship
as lover, partner or mother
just who you are
as a beautiful, beautiful soul
who is deserving
of all Love
Fear not for your children
for what they need
sense and understand
is the Truth above all
You will teach them far more about Love
by loving yourself
than by attempting to rectify
what is not yours to fix
This is not a recipe for ending a relationship
but rather one for clarification and healing
for you cannot know where and how
you will travel
until you first gather the strength
to simply stand in your own shoes
This shift will indeed rock your relationship
but how he chooses to respond to your empowerment
is up to him
Rebirth can only arise out of death
spring can only come
once winter is done
Know that you are seeking Love
not seeking a relationship
Your partnership can teach you much
about the ways of love
but only through the lens
of self growth
self examination
and a quantum shift
in your willingness to see
just how much you deserve
Make this a conscious, deliberate journey of joy
with no self judgement
guilt
or regrets
A warrior for truth has no enemies
only illusions that may fall
beneath her sword
The energy of this transmission was very focused on you. You were shown in a grey cloud of hesitation and self-blame – one that has blinded you so that you cannot see your own beauty and worth. Your sense of self at this time is so far from the truth of you, there was sadness from your guides, compassion and deep encouragement. You are being asked to shatter old habits – to reach in a way that will feel far beyond your capabilities and yet
will show you just how much more self value is appropriate. Like the explorer who looks at the horizon and fears that the Earth is flat, you are not yet seeing the vastness of your own potential, and the challenges of your relationship reflect this. Discover what YOU love, what YOU desire, what YOU deserve, and everything around you will shift to reflect this. Be patient with yourself upon this journey, for this too is an aspect of self love.
love
Adi

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FIRE AND WATER

Dear Adi,



Why am I having so much difficulty
transforming the negative and destructive
dynamic between my daughter and I?                                    

     … Loving Mother


Dear Loving,


It is understandable
that you wish for peace
in your connection with your little one
and yet we ask you to consider
that you are giving one another
exactly
what you both need

Hers is the element of fire
Yours is the element of water
Inevitably you must fear these
in one another
but for different reasons


She, as fire
must fear that your coolness
your rain
will put out her flame
You as water however
do not feel your life endangered by hers
yet rather fear the effects of her power
on others
for where you water what is green
she burns what grows
where you attempt to nourish
she lays waste in a burst of flames


As she feels the need to push
and you feel the need to pull
this is your perfection
this is your agreed upon plan
And remember this
dear, loving mother
that in your readiness to stand by
and quench overflowing passion
while you represent the very death
of her excess
you also provide an unconscious safety
for while she rages against you
another part of her wisdom remembers
that you are there to save her
if the flames rise out of control
In this aspect of her expression
you are both her worst nightmare
and her saviour
and that is
exactly what she needs



But I have no memory of this agreement
you cry
I want a loving, gentle mother daughter bond
I want to cuddle
and play
and be sweet together
And yet even as you say this
you know, you KNOW
that she pushes you for a reason
and that within, beneath your great oceans
lives a core of heat
that might even match hers
if you tried
if you allowed
if you dared


In practical terms:
Work with deep honesty to acknowledge
what she stirs in you
and allow no guilt, no self judgement to remain
Name your fears
your embarrassments
your anxiety
and travel only toward the Truth here.
Ask yourself the worst that could happen
and why
it would feel so terrible in your heart
Then ask yourself what might be possible
with a shift within you
toward trust
that her fire is a gift in its unfolding
no matter how it looks through your tears
or before the world


The less you rain upon her
the less she will have to run
to preserve her flame
Establish boundaries according to your needs
for honouring your Self
rather than focusing on controlling her
for her own sake
Fire is the source of heat, fuel, light
but where she burns will always essentially be
her choice and not for you to control
This is the cardinal rule –
before chasing down her needs
you have a right to flow
to swim
to soften
Take the space and time you need for this first
and then you will be much more at peace
when she starts to burn


As she ages
she will find more outlets for her nature
and you will not be the only one
holding the space for her power
Until then know that
while friction is an aspect of the healing path
between you
this does not need to be a source of pain
but can instead become playful
powerful, productive
if you do not fear your own failure
as a mother
And what a source of joy as you watch
her gifts unfold into a beauty
that may be shared


Mothers do not love in search of gratitude
and yet
know this will come
You will one day find great respect
in your differences
as both of you grow


The indication was of a cycle of fiery energy in your daughter that sparks a response in you that she then pushes against. In the exercise of
examining your own fears re her behaviour, the cycle may be broken.
The shift in energy you seek is absolutely possible, though it’s not about
changing her but rather loving, nurturing and healing yourself so you
can be more easily present with the challenging aspects of her gifted
nature. You are here to ground her, just as she is here to pull you out of
an old self.



love, Adi





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