THE SELF LOVE WITHIN LOVE

Dear Adi
Why is it so hard for me to accept and forgive my husband, and how do I open my heart completely to fully give and receive love and create true partnership in our relationship?
Lovelorn
Dear Lovelorn,
Every relationship gives what it is meant to
and every perceived lack
is the reflection of a desired joy
Every uncomfortable moment
is rich with the opportunity
to rise from falseness into truth
and every attachment
contains the seed of freedom
in its grasp
Dear child
the answer to your question
is in many ways a simple one
as we bring you back
again and again
to your own sense of self and deserving
This is illustrated in the way you turn your attention
toward your partner
over and over
seeking ways to connect
ways to forgive
ways to regain what has been lost
ways to join in a union you believe your children would like to see
This is akin to the servant
who apologizes for her ill health to her master
because it makes her
unable to serve
Yes you have come to a place of emptiness
and yes
your wishes seem lost
but they will not be found
and your heart will not be filled
by turning your attention to another
at this time
for it is your own heart
your own longing
your own beliefs of unworthiness
that are playing out all around you
and creating the dynamic you now experience
with your husband
He is a man like any other
with his strengths and weaknesses
a desire to love
and yet a lack of readiness to truly give
of himself
These are aspects of his own journey
and while you are indeed in a partnership
in many ways his unresponsiveness
has nothing to do with you
It is not about you
not caused by you
and yet is a mirror to you
for he cannot help but relate to the energy you hold
defined by the way
you relate to your Self
In practical terms this means
that every step you take toward self love
will crack the patterning
and shift the habits that perpetuate your unhappiness
Every step you take toward accessing your own deserving
will release the pressure he feels
to be the one who loves you enough
The reason you cannot forgive him
is because you hold a buried resentment
anger that he does not give you
what you are unable to give yourself
This is a very stuck place
like being in a closet with no air
and no door handle
because you are waiting
waiting, waiting
for him to release you from the outside
when in truth
there is no latch
no one putting pressure from beyond
Instead
you are as free as you choose
to simply push the door wide
and step free
but this can only happen
once you take your attention away
from what you perceive as his denial of you
and reclaim the permission
to be happy
not even just happy but joyful
because of who you are in and of yourself
who you are apart from any relationship
as lover, partner or mother
just who you are
as a beautiful, beautiful soul
who is deserving
of all Love
Fear not for your children
for what they need
sense and understand
is the Truth above all
You will teach them far more about Love
by loving yourself
than by attempting to rectify
what is not yours to fix
This is not a recipe for ending a relationship
but rather one for clarification and healing
for you cannot know where and how
you will travel
until you first gather the strength
to simply stand in your own shoes
This shift will indeed rock your relationship
but how he chooses to respond to your empowerment
is up to him
Rebirth can only arise out of death
spring can only come
once winter is done
Know that you are seeking Love
not seeking a relationship
Your partnership can teach you much
about the ways of love
but only through the lens
of self growth
self examination
and a quantum shift
in your willingness to see
just how much you deserve
Make this a conscious, deliberate journey of joy
with no self judgement
guilt
or regrets
A warrior for truth has no enemies
only illusions that may fall
beneath her sword
The energy of this transmission was very focused on you. You were shown in a grey cloud of hesitation and self-blame – one that has blinded you so that you cannot see your own beauty and worth. Your sense of self at this time is so far from the truth of you, there was sadness from your guides, compassion and deep encouragement. You are being asked to shatter old habits – to reach in a way that will feel far beyond your capabilities and yet
will show you just how much more self value is appropriate. Like the explorer who looks at the horizon and fears that the Earth is flat, you are not yet seeing the vastness of your own potential, and the challenges of your relationship reflect this. Discover what YOU love, what YOU desire, what YOU deserve, and everything around you will shift to reflect this. Be patient with yourself upon this journey, for this too is an aspect of self love.
love
Adi

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