A student/teacher of awakened consciousness asks..
I feel like there is a profound awakening of Cosmic Love preparing to rise up in me and wash away the current personality that believes in smallest and separation…. Please help me trust this experience and let go into it. I find it both uplifting and frightening. And as this awakening is taking place, deep terror and inertia are also rising…
I feel almost like this on going tension is like a self-punishment, not letting me really just let go and enjoy the bliss. I guess I don’t trust in my safety if I don’t “try” any more and just let myself be carried by love. It seems I am more frightened of the love than the aloneness….

THE RETURN  – October 3/11
The simplest way for us to describe the process you sense
is that you are making way for your true Self
When we look at you
this is what we see
not the fear
not the terror you describe
in fact
your light, your clarity and strength
are shining with a greater purity than ever before
but this awakening
this step
has created a friction within you
like an irritation
where old habits
old fears
old limitation that have lived in the home of illusion
a comfortable and familiar façade
these same small energies now irritate
like a stone in a shoe
a burr in a sleeve
a piece of dust that makes the eye weep
for what it cannot see
Your self sees your Self
as if for the first time
and she tells you
that the old simply will not do
any longer
and in her impatience
she assumes that this should be easier
than it can be
for while the resistance that remains
is a slight shadow
next to a great light
it is old and very deep
in fact it is the first fears
the primal fear
and it has been in place
as long as your human soul can remember
so gently dear one
go gently as you ready yourself
to step free
Can we tell you about the new
so that you may gain the faith you seek?
She walks with a gentle, slow grounding
that sets all at peace
who are in her presence
She smiles with a radiance that is unforced
emerging from the very spark of life
and not from any personal desire
She is adorned with grace
and so all externals pale like gauze around her
for when we look upon her
we see only her shape
her form
and her dress fades away
She is in a state of surrender that waits
with no interest in the past
and no hunger for the future
She meets whatever is before her
with a steady gaze of acceptance
that holds no need
and no defense
And above all she is in a place of flow
where she moves constantly
with no effort
as if riding the wind
This movement is actually without destination
and yet
she is ready
she is ready
she is ready
and this openness carries her to the forward place
that is the welcome
of divine arms
Can we call this
a Returning
dear child
dear woman that rises like a goddess
and have you ever noticed
how easy and simple it can be
to come Home?
All the questioning of where to go
and how to find it
all the uncertainty of whether or not
you have enough
are strong enough
brave enough
all the wonder about if you will like it
when you get there
and how long will you stay
all the striving
the seeking
the readiness for battle
should opposition be found
all of this
falls away when you turn around
turn around
to come Home
It is the end of pushing
as the softness of knowing fills you
like morning sun into a room
so we guide you
to turn your attention toward Trust
as you have never done before
You will know when you have released denial
for the shadow will be shown to you
and you will stand in awe
in shock at the depth of what has been buried so long
but as soon as this truth is identified
the next moment is not too soon to let it go
for even as the tears dry upon your skin
you will be returning
to the love that has become your name
It is the realization of this strength
that will assist you in finding the balance
as you allow and release
allow and release
for you must stand in your new Self
in order to be able to see the depth of the fear
of the old Self
and once in this truth
you will never believe the lie
So do not be concerned
when the dark days fall
just as labour is given
so that a birth may come
this pain is making way
for an alignment with your whole being
that is as profound
as the day you were born
You cannot fail
and you can make no mistake
for your soul has accepted this invitation
You have already shown up
you are standing
at our very door
The terror is like the cry of 
the child who thinks
she is not heard and so 
raises the voice ever higher
and yet there is no need
never any need
for the embrace of Mother
is right here
beside you
Hold the vision
of the one who is the real you
and to her be true
above all
Let her be your guide
and each time you embrace her
you will become more and more comfortable inside her
like seeing Home on the horizon
every time you rise over the next hill
You have studied
you have been humbled
you have given all you can give
Now there is only the walk with grace
away from the fragments of doubt
that can no longer find a place to settle within you
to exist anymore
Love them as they leave
for they have been your teachers
as much as any lineage or modality
The new
is nowhere you have to go
but simply the return
to what already is
416 898-6191


2 thoughts on “THE RETURN

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