This great question
lies at the heart of the process of transmutation

It is one we all
so need to understand

You ask
do I turn my attention away from the wound
and feed only what lifts me up
or do I allow the expression
of the hurt little one within
and respect her voice of pain
The answer is yes to both
for one does not defy the other
in any way

When darkness comes
it can be as powerful
as a great wind
that blows out every candle
snuffs every flame
In the resulting absence of light
it seems that we are without choice
and made blind
to any avenue of relief
The truth is
there is always choice
and aspects of this permission
live in the mind
while other facets
live deep within the body
and express beyond the conscious voice

So while the mind may indeed heal the body
in its powers of creation
we must be able to access thought in order to take hold of such power
and to do this
we may first have to release what is held in the physical form
overwhelming our senses
so that the mind may then find its way

This unfurling of energy can happen
without our awareness
but as we learn to pay attention
we discover ways
to drop deeply into an experience of our world
and learn to recognize this process
for what it is
until we know it
can feel it coming
just as a woman realizes when labour has begun
or a tumescent lover senses
the impending explosion
of sexual pleasure and release

Each soul in body
holds her own vibration
and his own level of awareness of this
To very many
these principles are so unconscious
it is like every day walking on silk and velvet
wearing heavy rubber boots

Others have been activated
and a detoxification has begun
the cleansing of many lives
and many wounds
experiencing stages of purification
that are as intense as the original wounding
triggering despair
and a crisis of faith

And then there are those
who have already walked these valleys of fire
discovering their own immortality
watching as pain becomes beautiful in its purity
and moments of saturated bliss are found
in a speck of floating dust

It is this place
where the practice of discernment
between release and ascension is found
and the irony is
that the deeper the surrender to the pain
the greater the thrust toward the light
At the same time
the more willing the detachment from the story of the pain
the less its teeth will bite

The simplest direction
toward this sensual dance
is to view every sensation and emotion
without judgement
and with love
This perspective
will allow you to quickly sense
how to proceed
for it wipes away the tarnished clouds
of the self critical seeker
who fears to love
what may seem unloving within
Any judgement of this kind
confuses the mind’s ability
to facilitate release

If you Love your suffering when it rises
a broad, humble love without attachment
devoid of the victim’s lament
the pain itself will speak to you
through your physical self
and above all your heart
giving you a direction to take
For the heart is the great mediator
between mind and body
the place where all truth lives
and may be experienced
as the Kokoro of life
When the heart is open 
if the pain is meant to intensify
and flow free
like the rush of a river through
a broken dam
then it will do so
and you will witness this
as grace
But if the expression of the wound
is simply a memory
an empty shadow that flickers
out of habit
then it will fall away easily
as you lift yourself up
into the Now
knowing this old wound
will never happen again

These answers may be found
both in the silence of divine listening
such as meditation
and also in the steps you walk each day
for the body holds its own wisdom
and will act
will sing its own song
even if the heart is not heard
So if you stumble
if you fall deep
love even this moment
for every impulse of self love
shakes loose attachment
and carries you further
upon the lush winds of change

Turn your attention always
and above all
to loving your experiences utterly without judgement
every single breath
and every waking dream
From this state of surrender
you will know
if it is a time to soften into shadow
or rise up into light
for each direction will take you to the other
and back again
until you one day stand tall as the noonday sun
and no earthly thing
will cast darkness
upon your way

©Cynthia Long, 2013


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