From I AM to I AM: The Spiritual Child Grows Old

Steven H. Keys at

The journey from I Am, to You Are, to I Am Not, to We Are, to I Am once again.


The Child

The world is full of spiritual children. By this I do not mean children who are spiritual, though there absolutely are more and more of those incarnating at this time – but rather I refer to the many physical adults who are in their spiritual childhood. These spiritual children have embodied from a pure non-physical state of I Am, into the human spiritual infant state of You Are, descending into an overwhelming vulnerability with no perspective of self observation, instead viewing the world through the eyes of the ego Self. What the child feels or experiences is what the child knows as truth, as the capacity for reflection has not yet been born. A Biblia a magyar képzőművészetben

At this time, the spiritual child cannot stand in his own power, and seeks the love of a strong parent in order to feel safe. A parent (or Godhead) who rules, who may be kind or who may mete out punishment, in relation to the degree of obedience in the child, or simply according to the parent’s own whim. No matter what the chosen shape of this Godhead, the child loves the parent, believes in their teachings and seeks all love from their hands. It is in this stage of growth that the patterns of fear are taken on, for when a child faces trauma, the individuated parent is always right, and so he takes the pain into his very heart and develops the belief that he is at fault, not good enough, not worthy enough, or even that he himself is the danger, the very source of the darkness he feels. This terrifying and false belief is the primary causal force which created the structures of various religions worldwide, and it is their common underlying misunderstanding. This is how spiritual children rise up to rule their worlds.

Because the spiritual child has placed all power into his vision of the parent, he comes to know powerlessness, and loses permission for natural joy in the face of his fear.  He has tasted the apple, and has learned of sin. This experience may be so painful, so overwhelming, that the ego pushes it into a deep polarity, marked by arrogance, rage and an unconscious desire to shake off suffering by projecting it onto any beings who remind the wounded child of his vulnerability and lost innocence. Thus we have tribalism, colonialism, war, even genocide, and the abuse of women, children, and the innocent animals of the world.

The Adolescent

As the soul grows, as the spiritual child rises into adolescence, the advent of self-consciousness brings a new awareness. Gradually the blossoming adult comes to recognize, and be embarrassed by, the child she once was. And yet the adolescent is still a child and will be, until this awkward, painful, observation of separation has lived out its time. The child perceived an experience of separation in relation to the parent; the adolescent watches this sense of separation, and in time cultivates it in the name of freedom from the blindness of old. The same parent, the same God that was once pictured as all powerful, full of love and rage and blame, now becomes untenable, a source of abandonment, because life is not so pretty, not so safe, as the adolescent pushes to cast out the control of the parent and stand on her own. I Am Not she says, over and over, I Am Not what you think I  Am.


She no longer wants to be seen as a dependent child, she wants to shape her life in her own way. She has all the answers and believes that she is the first one ever to really understand how life works.  Her heart opens into human romance, as other adolescents become the new objects of her search for safety and love. Her youth rules her world, and she pretends fearlessness, rejecting the controls she once respected. And yet still joy eludes, as her chosen separation brings her face to face with the darkest, deepest sense of loneliness she has ever known. Without the blindness of infancy, without the dependency of childhood, it is the furthest reach of the illusion of duality that she must touch, it is the rejection of All that she must feel, before she can begin her return to Love.


The Breakfast Club

The adolescent thinks he is all gown up, but he is not, and the child is still very active within him as the patterns of childhood wounds repeat and repeat, just as they are meant to, each round of pain awakening him more and more into the realization that rather than running from the child, the vulnerable infant must be integrated, his suffering acknowledged, his powerlessness revealed, from beneath the bravado of youth. The adolescent’s journey takes him from the early days of seeking separation to a growing readiness for reunion, when the Self’s learning from the self through self-conscious observation is done, and a pure state of being is initiated in human form.  As the need for separation ends, the awareness of Oneness infuses the heart.  The state of We Are is born.

There is no more separate, controlling parent, no more victimization, no more seeking of identity in others, no more rejection of what she once was. From this place, the spiritual adult rises up, and she may be recognized by the fact that she no longer clings to a perceived state of childhood powerlessness, nor does she deny the child from which she has grown, because that infant has been transmuted, and now separation is no more.


The Adult

This adult has seen, acknowledged and come to know the polarities of the world, and by accepting them, allowed them to unite in wholeness. She does not try, because it is done. She cannot lose because she is not apart, and the dance of passion settles into trust, and she has no desire, no place to run. The spiritual adult is empty of blame, explanation, and denial. He is instead present with all aspects of the human experience because he recognizes each one as an aspect of the Divine. He holds no shame around his childhood for he sees the worthiness of every moment, and in this awareness finds deep compassion for other children all around. She sees that she no longer needs to prove what she is not, because she is everything at all times, and the blessings of the All live within her very cells. Even as her physical body ages, she trusts this return to the ways of the Earth, and the expression of the Source from whence her child once birthed.  She returns finally to the purity she now remembers, the state from which her incarnation was so lovingly given; she returns to the blessed I Am.


There is more in this world, in this life, than any human mind may hold. There is, however, just enough to fill the capacity of each human heart, in a state of trust, in a land of grace. We must be born, grow up, grow wise, and then grow old and into what we have always been. It is the journey of the I; the experience of the most divine, human form, the Love we have always been and will be until the end of time.

Where are you on your journey from I Am to I Am? Are you ready to reach out to a voice of loving guidance, one that may show you what you have not seen, tell you what you have not yet heard, remind you of what you have forgotten about who you really are? Readings by Adikanda are available in Toronto or by Skype worldwide.

much love, Adi
Red Headed Child: Steven H. Keys




“Freedom’s just another word for nothing left to lose, Nothin’ don’t mean nothin’, honey, if it ain’t free..” – Kris Kristofferson and Fred Foster from Me and Bobby McGee

We seekers think that we are here to learn to be compassionate – we are not. We think we are here to learn to be peaceful and strong – we are not. We think we are here to be tolerant, wise, authentic, loving… all the qualities we consider to be spiritually correct.  Yet the truth is, while we are all expressions of the same Source, we are, each of us, here to learn what is important for our own individual balance – and that is not the same journey for any two people on this Earth.


The Oppositional Nature of our Destiny

The man who finds himself always being the strong one, stepping in to help carry the heavy load, fix what is broken, chase off the bully; he has come in this life, not to develop the strength of which he is so proud, but to allow his inner weakness and vulnerability to express. He must face experiences of feeling helpless and inadequate before he can find balance and become whole.


The woman who refuses to buy into a culture of feminine wiles, who won’t wear high heels or make up or sexy clothes, is not here to find the courage to be herself in the face of masculine expectation (though this is what she may tell herself) but rather to awaken to a much deeper fear of revealing her own hidden sexual nature, to rise above her terror that she will be judged or fail. The same may be true of a woman who pours all her energy into primping and preening, with false nails, hair, breasts and nose. The same buried pain may live in both women, manifesting in opposing polarities, for it is in the gentle balance of where the pendulum rests that we find a healed and loving home.

Denial (Ain’t Only a River in Egypt)

The academic who lives his life steeped in reason and logic has embodied to learn to open his most irrational heart. The passionate lover has come to learn to trust in solitude, abstinence and self-reliance. The banker has come to let go of the need for financial control, and the homeless man, to learn that he deserves a place to sleep.  The prostitute has the right to say no, the comedian to weep, and the caring nurse to stop thinking about anyone other than herself for awhile.


All are Beautiful by Lindsey Butler Vancouver, Washington

This principle shows us why it is critical to dare to examine the roles we play – especially the ones we find it so hard to see. The level of our own denial rises in proportion to the power that awaits in the unveiling of the truth. We can be sure of one thing: whatever our choice of character in this piece of theatre we know as life, the costume must one day come off.

There is no formula for awakening to our purpose, except to accept the direction we find most challenging and frightening, the one which stirs the most resistance and denial and yet is the very path we are here to pursue. It is the simple way, but not the easy one.


Painful, and yet liberating beyond imagining, this understanding does not mean we are meant to cast out our gifts, but rather develop the ability to discern when they slip into compensation and protection, when we prefer to habitually rely upon what comes easily so we don’t have to look at what we have hidden so well, for so long.  With this rising consciousness, in time we will transmute our wounds into union with our gifts, through the alchemy of spiritual and energetic transformation.


The KORE PROCESS is a modality of energy work based upon a powerful past life reading which elucidates in great detail the very story we are here to bring into balance, the wounds and the gifts we must learn to purify of fear. Accompanied by an energetic attunement, these profound readings offer a rare insight into the primary fear-based pattern we have come to heal in this time of profound personal and planetary awakening.  For more information, please CONTACT ME or leave any questions as a comment.

Love is the air we breathe when we are not afraid.

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Janis Joplin – Me and Bobby McGee

much love, Adi

CL-12 4x4





Why Does Kindness Make Us Weep?

“From the moment you were born
you began to die
From the day you left heaven
you agreed to cry
From the minute you decided
to learn about Love
you lost it and found it
and lost it and found it
till your child grew tall
and your heart grew wide
and the fear rolled into love again
the fear rolled into Love

From the moment your memories
were given away
From the instant your body
embodied to stay
From the way you released
your angel’s hand
you lost it and found it
and lost it and found it
till your legs got strong
and your words came wise
and the fear rolled into love again
the fear rolled into Love..”

from the song Into Love


We often think of this life as a search for solutions, a fixing of what went wrong. We think the heads of our children are empty and we need to fill them. We think Nature is not enough and we have to control it. We think we are insufficient and we need to please others to be worthy of love. We think our gods judge us and we are rife with sin.

What if instead we were to end our dance with polarities, and begin to see the rich beauty in all forms of existence, all experiences of this physical plane? To love even our suffering, and know it is no punishment but rather a gift? What if we witnessed even our pain as a beautiful expression? What if we gave ourselves permission to feel everything, no matter what, no matter when? For if we can just let the powerful waves of Source energy take us on a journey, neither good nor bad, right nor wrong, but ours, only ours to own, we cut loose our attachment to fixing things, and the presence of Love in all its forms is free to flow again.

The truth is, Love is everywhere. She wears a million faces, a billion cloaks, a trillion crowns. Love even dresses up as fear, to help us see her better after the fear is gone. And this, this is why we cry when when our hearts are moved, why our own compassion and joy can make us weep. When we witness joy we are reminded of the sweet, sweet presence of Love, even as we feel the fear that it will once again be taken away.  Our tears are the expression of an opening heart, a blessing to remind us of how we are meant to walk, every moment, of every day.

This video of a homeless man’s response to an act of kindness plays out in an what is, perhaps, an unnecessary exercise, yet the outcome provides enough beauty to touch any soul. I dare you to watch and let your heart speak.

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The sensation you may have felt watching this loving moment is the energetic movement  in your body of unconditional love.  Learn how to allow and invite this profound force to stay flowing in your life through our Mother Love Program.

Have you had the powerful experience of a KORE PROCESS Reading? If so, come to a series of Kore Support Seminars and receive the warm, intuitive guidance you need and deserve on your courageous path.  More info here:


much love, Adi