From I AM to I AM: The Spiritual Child Grows Old

Steven H. Keys at

The journey from I Am, to You Are, to I Am Not, to We Are, to I Am once again.


The Child

The world is full of spiritual children. By this I do not mean children who are spiritual, though there absolutely are more and more of those incarnating at this time – but rather I refer to the many physical adults who are in their spiritual childhood. These spiritual children have embodied from a pure non-physical state of I Am, into the human spiritual infant state of You Are, descending into an overwhelming vulnerability with no perspective of self observation, instead viewing the world through the eyes of the ego Self. What the child feels or experiences is what the child knows as truth, as the capacity for reflection has not yet been born. A Biblia a magyar képzőművészetben

At this time, the spiritual child cannot stand in his own power, and seeks the love of a strong parent in order to feel safe. A parent (or Godhead) who rules, who may be kind or who may mete out punishment, in relation to the degree of obedience in the child, or simply according to the parent’s own whim. No matter what the chosen shape of this Godhead, the child loves the parent, believes in their teachings and seeks all love from their hands. It is in this stage of growth that the patterns of fear are taken on, for when a child faces trauma, the individuated parent is always right, and so he takes the pain into his very heart and develops the belief that he is at fault, not good enough, not worthy enough, or even that he himself is the danger, the very source of the darkness he feels. This terrifying and false belief is the primary causal force which created the structures of various religions worldwide, and it is their common underlying misunderstanding. This is how spiritual children rise up to rule their worlds.

Because the spiritual child has placed all power into his vision of the parent, he comes to know powerlessness, and loses permission for natural joy in the face of his fear.  He has tasted the apple, and has learned of sin. This experience may be so painful, so overwhelming, that the ego pushes it into a deep polarity, marked by arrogance, rage and an unconscious desire to shake off suffering by projecting it onto any beings who remind the wounded child of his vulnerability and lost innocence. Thus we have tribalism, colonialism, war, even genocide, and the abuse of women, children, and the innocent animals of the world.

The Adolescent

As the soul grows, as the spiritual child rises into adolescence, the advent of self-consciousness brings a new awareness. Gradually the blossoming adult comes to recognize, and be embarrassed by, the child she once was. And yet the adolescent is still a child and will be, until this awkward, painful, observation of separation has lived out its time. The child perceived an experience of separation in relation to the parent; the adolescent watches this sense of separation, and in time cultivates it in the name of freedom from the blindness of old. The same parent, the same God that was once pictured as all powerful, full of love and rage and blame, now becomes untenable, a source of abandonment, because life is not so pretty, not so safe, as the adolescent pushes to cast out the control of the parent and stand on her own. I Am Not she says, over and over, I Am Not what you think I  Am.


She no longer wants to be seen as a dependent child, she wants to shape her life in her own way. She has all the answers and believes that she is the first one ever to really understand how life works.  Her heart opens into human romance, as other adolescents become the new objects of her search for safety and love. Her youth rules her world, and she pretends fearlessness, rejecting the controls she once respected. And yet still joy eludes, as her chosen separation brings her face to face with the darkest, deepest sense of loneliness she has ever known. Without the blindness of infancy, without the dependency of childhood, it is the furthest reach of the illusion of duality that she must touch, it is the rejection of All that she must feel, before she can begin her return to Love.


The Breakfast Club

The adolescent thinks he is all gown up, but he is not, and the child is still very active within him as the patterns of childhood wounds repeat and repeat, just as they are meant to, each round of pain awakening him more and more into the realization that rather than running from the child, the vulnerable infant must be integrated, his suffering acknowledged, his powerlessness revealed, from beneath the bravado of youth. The adolescent’s journey takes him from the early days of seeking separation to a growing readiness for reunion, when the Self’s learning from the self through self-conscious observation is done, and a pure state of being is initiated in human form.  As the need for separation ends, the awareness of Oneness infuses the heart.  The state of We Are is born.

There is no more separate, controlling parent, no more victimization, no more seeking of identity in others, no more rejection of what she once was. From this place, the spiritual adult rises up, and she may be recognized by the fact that she no longer clings to a perceived state of childhood powerlessness, nor does she deny the child from which she has grown, because that infant has been transmuted, and now separation is no more.


The Adult

This adult has seen, acknowledged and come to know the polarities of the world, and by accepting them, allowed them to unite in wholeness. She does not try, because it is done. She cannot lose because she is not apart, and the dance of passion settles into trust, and she has no desire, no place to run. The spiritual adult is empty of blame, explanation, and denial. He is instead present with all aspects of the human experience because he recognizes each one as an aspect of the Divine. He holds no shame around his childhood for he sees the worthiness of every moment, and in this awareness finds deep compassion for other children all around. She sees that she no longer needs to prove what she is not, because she is everything at all times, and the blessings of the All live within her very cells. Even as her physical body ages, she trusts this return to the ways of the Earth, and the expression of the Source from whence her child once birthed.  She returns finally to the purity she now remembers, the state from which her incarnation was so lovingly given; she returns to the blessed I Am.


There is more in this world, in this life, than any human mind may hold. There is, however, just enough to fill the capacity of each human heart, in a state of trust, in a land of grace. We must be born, grow up, grow wise, and then grow old and into what we have always been. It is the journey of the I; the experience of the most divine, human form, the Love we have always been and will be until the end of time.

Where are you on your journey from I Am to I Am? Are you ready to reach out to a voice of loving guidance, one that may show you what you have not seen, tell you what you have not yet heard, remind you of what you have forgotten about who you really are? Readings by Adikanda are available in Toronto or by Skype worldwide.

much love, Adi
Red Headed Child: Steven H. Keys


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