Sexual Shame, as Inspired by Jian Ghomeshi

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HEALING SEXUAL SHAME Live Transmission Audio

As an intuitive artist, channel and counselor, over the past fifteen years I have been given a divine window into the psyches, dreams and fears of many hundreds of people. Each of these souls have been enacting their healing process in various life aspects: finance, health, career, relationship.. and always, sexuality. There is no such thing as healthy sexuality.. sexual energy is a realm too vast and powerful to ever be completely uncomplicated in human form.  We are all carrying something between our legs.

Very often our sexual wounds are so deeply encased in shame, we put our attention on blaming, spying upon, judging and being addicted to the sexual practices of others. And all the while, we are terrified to look at what goes on in our own bedrooms, our own relationships, our own unspoken desires. There is nothing much that approaches the profound beauty of human sexual nature.. and therefore nothing that makes us more vulnerable. We all hurt. We are all confused. We are all shut down or hyped up or in fear. And the healing of the All can only come when we dare to turn our attention within.. to face our own stunning worth, and the horrific abuses we perpetuate upon ourselves by not living in our truth.

Watching the fairytale play out.. good and evil, dark and light.. we get caught in the details and forget to stand back far enough to witness the whole. It is time to stop vilifying men, and instead give women all they need to stand in their power.  Educate young girls and women, not to memorize the history and names of the men who stole land from other men, and how many thousands they killed to get it, but rather teach them about their own innate wisdom, strength and value. Teach them that a man who dares to offer them anything less then utter respect and adoration is not worthy of their time or trust. Let them stand so tall and strong that unhappy, unhealthy men will not be drawn to them, because they will not smell the prey there, they will not be called to lay an old, unconscious trap.

Yes, brutality has no place in a loving world, and yes we must speak. We must tell our sufferings and admit to our failings, and bow our heads to ask for understanding. But when we chase a felon like a terrified and hunted fox, when we make him the icon, the siphon, the figurehead for all that we fear, we lose a precious chance to lift ourselves up, into the recognition of yet another wounded child.

Simply put, men like Jian Ghomeshi are hurtful because women have not stopped them.  Women like those hurt by Jian Ghomeshi are entrapped because they have long denied their own power. And here is the kicker – this could be any woman, because the numbers who have experienced some kind of sexual victimization are staggering. My own personal survey would indicate that not one woman is immune. The fact is, the power to hurt and be hurt lives in us all, but it’s time to cleanse this from within us, by dropping the charge of blame. It is time to simply tell the truth, and claim each experience as our own.

What follows is an excerpt from the transcript of a transmission regarding sexual shame. These teachings have a great deal to say about what is rising in our consciousness these days. Perhaps it is the moment for this issue to be revealed and addressed.


The experience of being in human form and discovering divine sexual union with another is an experience of divine bliss. There is no greater bliss state available to the vast majority of people that are alive on the planet today. Even those great yogis and yoginis, even the ones who have spent years on meditation… There is a piece they miss when they sever themselves from the physical experience of allowing the pleasure centres in their body to awaken and to express. Without the allowance of this joy in our lives it is very, very difficult to find a reason to remain alive. And so our sexual energy is not simply an aspect of procreation, it is an aspect of co-creation, of our willingness to be on the planet at all. It is part of the bargain, when we say ‘We wish to be here, we wish to embody’. We do this with the understanding the pleasure is our birth right. And it is. There is no reason in existence for this to be denied other than fear. And so when we look at the thousands and thousands of ways that sexuality is denied on the planet we must understand and accept that we are looking at the thousands and thousands of faces of fear.

And what we are afraid of is beauty, delight, pleasure, joy and permission to feel all of this, to experience all of this, to recognize that this is in fact our true nature. Nothing less. And so how can an expression of passionate, powerful, divine joy not be threatened? In fact it must be the most scary experience we can have, because it feels too good to be true. Some of the ways that this fear is expressed fall into a simple category of denial and repression. It is an understandable response when we don’t believe that joy is our birth right, and when we experience it spontaneously in the body as all children do. All children are sexual. They feel their sexuality from the moment they are born. But when there is a belief system and a history that is carried forward on the cellular level that is fear based around the deserving of joy, and from the very early expressions of the sensations there is an immediate response that this must stop, this is unsafe. It’s not just unsafe – it is dangerous. It holds the danger unlike any other danger that can be found. And when there is a history of this level of fear carried forward on the soul level, the fear of sexuality, the fear of pleasure, the fear of opening and awakening is greater than the fear of death. It’s greater than the fear of hunger and survival. It’s greater than the fear of being alone. And so it overrides all of these other fears. And when this impulse for repression exists it will blanket at all aspects of life, because the fear of joy is so great. So in this case we witness this in cultures where there is a masculinization of this fear, because those in male physical form have carried physical strength. They are beings of action. They are beings of movement. And when they experience the depth of this terrible danger, the pleasure must be controlled. And it is controlled in the self through religious practices, and it is controlled in the other by the denial of all feminine energy. And thus we have powerful imbalances that are found in some of the most ancient cultures on the planet. Because this fear has been nurtured and rebirthed so many times.


Please understand this is not a fear that is owned by men and imposed upon women. This could not be further from the truth. It is difficult to understand when we observe a level of brutality that is enacted upon those who’ve embodied in the feminine form, as still exists in so many places today. It is very difficult to watch this happening and not be forced into a stand of accusation to those who play the role of the oppressor. But it is a fundamental universal law that we are utterly connected in our bodies, in our energetic exchanges. We are absolutely One, and for every oppressor there is a victim, and for every victim there is a prosecutor. And there is no possible healing of the one without healing the all. This is not an easy concept to understand, it’s very difficult to absorb because there is such a long history of victimization, particularly in the war between the genders, in the war that has been acted out in the arena of sexuality. It is not uncommon for torture to be focused on the genitals, because this is the ultimate expression of fear of pleasure to create pain, where pleasure has been given as a birth right. There are those who hold sexual practices that are focused upon pain. And this is not because they enjoy pain, it is because this is the only aspect of pleasure that they can now allow themselves because the fear of pleasure is so great. It is awakening a numbness. Pain is better than numbness. And numbness is an epidemic on the planet today. Our numbness to our sexuality is a reflection of a very, very deeply buried fear. It is a fear that is on a level of unconsciousness. Cannot be seen. Cannot be welcomed. Yet.

And so for those who are experiencing an inability to allow their beauty and their joy, if there is an expression of emotional pain, this must be expressed. This must be set free, because with the release of the closed heart, the numbness can begin to lift. First numbness rises, then pain is revealed, then pain mends and then pleasure is allowed. Delight is allowed. Bliss is allowed. And so as we begin to correct the immense levels of suffering that exist in the betrayal of our sexuality, women must realize that they hold their own power, they hold their own joy, and that it is in this awakening that those men who run from them in fear will stop and turn and see another way.



The women must not wait for the men. The women must not be afraid of the men. And the feminine must be given voice in both those in female body and those in male body. It is a wave of impulse that is moving across the planet right now. It is in everyone present in this room. And by feminine above all we speak of the receptive nature of our sensual, sexual, creative selves. When we receive, we do not push, we do not force, we do not commend and we do not control. We allow, we gratefully, joyfully allow. And this is the most powerful form of creation that exists. In the truth it is the only one form of creation that exists. A woman does not force a baby out of her womb. She surrenders to a process that is much greater than her conscious mind. And this is the energy that is sweeping a planet. It is in each one of us and it is showering down upon us tonight in the waves of the moon.


For a woman, virtually every woman who is embodied in feminine form, is walking with a history of victimization, this is the most appropriate word. And yes, she has earned this, she has lived it, she has known it and it has been real. But we are in a time now of liberation from this. And it is impossible, it is universal law, it is impossible to actualize, to stand in your power, to embrace your bliss and your joy if you are walking the role of one who is or has been a victim. If this is still in your heart, you cannot be who you are. And even more, you cannot give to others. And any attempts to give to others will come out of your own place of need. So this must be addressed, and so when a woman welcomes the energies of the moon, when she feels this electricity entering her body, again it is a permission and surrender to receiving. She is enough. She is enough. She is beautiful in here essence, in her core. She does not have to look after anyone, she does not have to give anything to anyone, she does not have to wear something, she does not have to get down on her hands and knees. She does not have to cover herself up, she does not have to strip her clothes of. She does not have to do anything, because it is in her inner stillness that she will discover, that she will find a permission to receive. And when she lights that fire, everything around her will respond. She will be radiant and in her radiance there is no man that can resist her, and no woman either. There is no experience that will be turned away. There is no danger because she is complete within herself. And she will be attuned to her own intuitive nature, because our intuitive selves are also our feminine selves.


Our journey toward accessing this level of understanding must begin with the depth of honesty about where we are now. It begins within ourselves, with the willingness to look deeply at our own fears, to identify them, to name them, and to express them. To paint them, sing them, to shout them, to share them, to write them, to find whatever means we can, to dance them. Because it is through expression that they are set free. And through expression that they come to be recognized. And as we share these experiences, we take the power away. Fear only holds power over us, when we let it, when we see it as such. And when we laugh in its face it must go. And then we are left with our essence, our essential selves. It is also this expression that will begin to make the planetary shifts more visible. And so for those of you, who have the ability to share what you know, to share what you feel, to share in humility your humanity, if you have this, please do. I promise you there is someone waiting to hear what you have to say. When they hear it, it will help them find their own courage. If one woman goes home and writes the truth of her fears, about her willingness to allow joy and pleasure into her life, if she writes those down, that will send out the vibration, that will touch women, who lie in prisons in Afghanistan, Iran, Mexico, North Korea, and, and, and…We are one. You are one.


Videos of note: John Semley on Jian Ghomeshi, and Dr. Nina Burrows on sex offenders, denial and shame.

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