When we discuss spirituality we seldom make space for the graphic details. We talk about healing, and light and love, and compassion and kindness and joy. We reach for transformation and ascension and attainment of awareness, and so rarely along this path do we tell the full on truth about what it really takes to walk it.
We live out our days as if what you see is what you get; we believe in the face in the mirror without imagining what is there to be found behind it, and behind the next mirror, and the next and the next after that. Science tells us that measurable experience is our meter of the truth, and yet every measurement we take washes through the filter of our present moment energetic timbre. If we play our E string, everything around us that is a vibrational match to that E string will also vibrate at the frequency of E, and we might think that the whole world is but an E until the day we lift the bow and land on the G string, and suddenly it is time for G to be heard…
A key tenet of my work is the understanding of energetic movement within our own field, the role of the emotions to reflect and guide it, and the power of cleansing cellular memories which have trapped us in repetitive patterns, such release setting free the fulfillment of our soul’s desires. When we allow ourselves to look at life through this layered perspective, we truly expand our awareness, granting multi-dimensional meaning. We go from a simple snapshot, to a widescreen movie with surround sound. We pull out the full length of the telescope. We inform ourselves with history. We have a vastly more clear view because we stand on higher ground.
Last night I watched a viral video on Facebook of a police officer shooting a man’s dog. Leon Rosby, a black man who had experience with the Hawthorne police department had allegedly been interfering with police activity at a crime scene, playing loud music from his car, heckling the police with requests for more black officers to be hired on the force, telling bystanders to watch the police, and apparently making enough trouble that the police decided to arrest him.
Rosby calmly put his Rottweiler, Max, into the back seat of his car as two officers approached. He then walked to the officers, turned and extended his hands behind his back, and they proceeded to handcuff him easily. From the video it seems the police began to use some unnecessary force, as Rosby’s waiting dog felt the tense situation from inside the car and managed to climb out a window, concerned for his master. Max approached the officers, moving slowly but seeming to threaten them. Rosby called out repeatedly, “Please don’t shoot my dog.” There has been a great deal of controversy about what happened next, but from the video it certainly seems that the police could have given Leon Rosby the chance to return Max to the car. But in a moment of choice, one of the officers pulled out his gun and shot the dog repeatedly, at point blank range.
The big dog reeled to the ground, his legs spinning wildly in an attempt to run from what had already been done to his body, in the midst of his instinctive urge to protect the man he loved. I will never forget that image. I turned off the video then, but it has played in my head a hundred times since. The choice Rosby made to insert himself in the situation, putting Max at risk. The choice of that police officer, and the use of his anointed power. The choice of a dog who gave his life in defence of the man he loved.
The shock to my heart of witnessing this scene entered deeply. The pain of it permeated my waking hours and my dreams. I had seen more than just a tragic moment on a Facebook video, I had touched a cellular nerve in my own energy field, a moment in time that reflected both the expression of my fear and the power of my soul purpose – two polarities which are ironically never far apart in this human playground.
The pain living in the broken hearts of men is the greatest global wound on our planet at this time. This was a familiar polarized situation, a black man with a big dog, a white cop with a gun. And yet there were so many other choices which could have been made, so many other ways to respond to the loyalty and love of an animal, rather than maim or kill the innocent in order to assert power.
This response is a classic example of what fear does when it lives in denial for so long – it seeks an outlet, a way to reinforce its own claim. Virulent fear attempts to bury the evidence of love, because love has become too dangerous, too foreign. We must crush vulnerability in the hopes that we are never forced to look at our own.
As a mother, I have vividly witnessed this projection and reflexive wounding unleashed upon my own sons and their friends. I have watched auric fields be smashed. I have witnessed senseless trauma be passed on from man to man, father to son, over and over, seeking relief in the sharing of the misery of what has been done before. And I have known the horrific powerlessness of the Feminine observer – seemingly unable to stop the cycle, standing and watching and waiting for the Masculine to wake up, to say enough, to let his own heart be heard. And I have done my own reeling, spinning my legs in an attempt to run from the fear and the pain of being in this dimensional reality, where we must surrender to our very core, to find meaning in the suffering we must all witness before we die.
But I write today to share my journey with this one, short video. In my own practice of energetic release, I was able to touch the root of the experience for me. I was able to let myself look at that scene in my mind’s eye, until the pain of it erupted in a volcanic release of empathic grief. I know that pain well, and in the final analysis, it is always our own pain to which we respond. I had to grieve the part of me that suffered when my children suffered, and all that it touched in my powerless child within. I had to acknowledge my own role as witness, in helplessness, to clear this cellular mirage and step into my own purpose in the transmutation of such violent fear. My alignment with my fearless self assists the liberation of that dog, on a vibrational level. My brutal honesty with myself regarding my own vulnerability gets my energy unstuck, and like the Tin Man, oiling my joints is necessary for me to get back to the search for my heart, on the road to Oz.
I can now play reruns of that painful video in my head, and there is no remaining primal stab of emotional pain penetrating my chest and belly. I still would reach through the computer screen to hold Max in my own arms if I could. I still would hold his master too, and whisper into his ear that he is loved, despite the battles he has chosen to fight. I would also extend my arms to the police officer who took away life and love that day, and then of course, I eternally reach to hold my own sons through their transformations, in this energetic embrace.
And I now know why I had to watch that brutal film. Awareness is everything. Consciousness leads, through surrender beneath the limits of our pain, to access the strength which allows us to make change.
One step closer to the meaning and purpose of every moment, I have witnessed my own vulnerability and walked right into it, another story of compassion born. Even here, in this reeling, churning, turning world. As a mother I know, Love is All.
Much love, Adi